Holding on to a Memory

Bella,
I am a person of many words. A person who holds grudge, who loves to quickly, and hurts deeply. I am a person who weeps for a person because I saw a story about them on the news. My emotions go from 
sad to happy in a matter of seconds. My heart breaks when I watch a television show like Grey's Anatomy. I am a person who knows that life is short. 
Life is short.
I am also a quitter though. When life throws me lemons I don't always turn them into lemonade. Sometimes I turn my back. When things in my relationship gets tough...I tune it out. There are days I 
wish I could tune out the world and just listen to music..there are days I wish with all my might didn't start. Days I hoped would end...and never have to look back. 
There are reasons that these emotions run so deep...reasons that I am who I am today...
These reasons are the memories. Memories of running through preschool in the pines with Jay, watching his 5 year old self trying to score a kiss from Jessica. Hearing Sophia recite John 3:16 without 
any help. Watching Sierra dye eggs on Easter and put frosting on cookies...or more like the table. Those were the good ones. Then I have these other memories, reading To Kill A Mockingbird one spring 
evening trying to crane for the test the next week. Going to bed that night lake because I couldn't sleep. Waking up, with my father crying at 2:30 am..telling me I needed to get ready because 
something has happened. 
The story goes on..but I remember that day like it was yesterday. The heartbreak and the tears. The terror. I remember it. Holding on to a memory is like carrying baggage. Memories that bring you down 
are a burden. The good ones are what pick you up and help you get out of bed in the morning. 
They build and share us. 
There are memories that I will hold forever..and that may hinder my growth..but this I tell to you.
Never forget the memories that you make with the ones that love you. Always remember the good ones and try to let go of the bad. Because letting go, will allow you to have a better life. Letting go 
will not hinder relationships for you like they have me. Life is looking up for you. Just jump on because its gonna be a bumpy ride...but enjoy it while it lasts...because life is short. Carpe 
diem--seize the day.

Dear Bella,

When I was young I hadn't a fear in the world. I could walk outside and see the beauty of our world, smell the rain washed air as the storms blew past. Life was great. Nothing could stop me as I climbed over fences and up trees. I learned if I fell, I knew if I had done wrong. Life was how it should be. A child growing up without a care in the world and with people who care.
You've had a rough start to life. You feel alone in the world and as if no one is here for you. Life isn't carefree is it? You say that you wish that someone would care. Close your eyes and listen please dear princess and look at this world. Nana and Papa and your daddy and I all care for you, but we aren't the only ones. God has been watching you and keeping you safe. Holding you close and wishing this pain would go away. He knows that you are hurting and wants you to understand that things will get easier each and every day. Times may be hard and life may plain suck. But remember he's watching and please hold him close. You are his child and I know he will never let you go.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. That for whosoever believes in him will have ever lasting life." John 3:16

This verse hits close to home for me because it was the first verse you spoke that I have taught u. But it is true. God blessed our lives with the thought that if we were to only grab his hand in the moments we think he is not there and trust in him with all our hearts...we will end up at his feet in heaven one day and have the carefree life you haven't experienced yet.
Look into the future dear angel and see that the past is the past, the present is the present, and our fifties lies with God in heaven. If you lol at life as the glass is half empty and it won't get any better, the your life isn't dedicated to the true meaning of life. Open your mind and see that God is here and always has been. See that he will never leave. Know that he cares and trust he will love you and fill the void in your life.
Life isn't always what it seems. Truth isn't always certain. But faith is always what your heart decides.
Hard life in the human world may not look so bad...if you learn to trust in the Carefree life you have in store.

Which do you choose? 

To life and let live?

or 

To live in fear and regret?

I hope you choose life dear angel.